Perhaps Even God Is Still Figuring It Out – And I’m Still Waiting for Wisdom (That Never Downloaded)

By age 13, I was absolutely sure of one thing- everyone older than me had life all sorted. College-goers? Oh, they definitely knew what they wanted and what their purpose was. Married people? Must be walking encyclopedias of emotional wisdom. And mothers? Don’t even get me started. I truly believed that anyone who could manage a child, run a home and handle a pressure cooker at the same time had to be operating with NASA-level intelligence.

But then I grew up. And turns out… it’s not quite like that.

By college, I was no clearer than a foggy windshield during monsoon season. I waited for enlightenment like one waits for a delayed train-standing at the station of life with a hopeful heart. Marriage came and brought its own syllabus of confusion. Motherhood???  Ohh yes. The time when you realize that even the child you gave birth to is now smarter than you, especially in settings, software and shortcuts.

Still, I waited. Because surely, once I hit 50, the Wisdom Fairy would descend, toss me a USB stick loaded with Life 101 and whisper, “Update complete.” Alas. I’m now 61. And guess what? Still clueless. Possibly even more clueless- just with added aches & pains.

I used to look up to my mother like she was born with a compass in her brain. Never missed a beat. She could fold a saree with her eyes closed, balance a budget without blinking, remember the entire grocery list without writing a word and serve the yummiest dishes without ever opening a cookbook. But maybe, just maybe, she was faking it, too. Maybe she also stood in front of the fridge some nights and whispered- “What on earth do they mean by ‘Eat before expiry’ when life itself comes with no such label?”

Now when I look at toddlers, I think- wow, they really know what they want. iPad, lollipop, which channel to watch, which cartoon series they’re hooked on and even which song is their absolute jam. No confusion there. And teenagers? Their fingers fly across screens like concert pianists on energy drinks. They speak fluent Techlish. They multitask while multitasking. They don’t even say “I don’t know” anymore. They say- “Let me Google that.”

I mean, look at the evidence. We have mosquitoes- but no real way to stop them from treating us like an open buffet.We send satellites to Mars, yet can’t find our own glasses (which are often on our head). Despite all these technological revolutions, we’re still clueless when it comes to everyday stuff- like how to fix a mood swing, how to stop tears that come out of nowhere, how to fall asleep when your brain suddenly decides it’s time to review every decision you’ve made since 1983. We’ve got smart TVs, smart fridges, smart phones… but no real clue how to switch off our overthinking.

Maybe, just maybe, The Creator is still experimenting. Still beta testing Earth. Perhaps the Big Bang was just a sneeze and the universe is still expanding because no one remembered to hit the stop button. Maybe heaven’s just a cosmic Helpdesk where even angels occasionally turn to one another and ask- “Wait… was free will part of the original plan or an accidental download?”

There’s some strange comfort in that thought.

If the Almighty is still in awe of His own inventions, still spinning galaxies like a child twirling a globe- just to see where the finger lands- then maybe I can forgive myself for not knowing how to properly use half the features on my phone or half the rules of life.

Because here’s the fun, dear reader:

Nobody has it figured out. They’re just better at nodding wisely while Googling quietly.

So cheers to lifelong confusion, to learning and unlearning, to being 60 and still wondering what you’ll be when you grow up. If God’s still wondering what to do with Jupiter’s 79 moons, I think we’re in fine company…~ Latika Teotia

Expressing gratitude !!!

In all sincerity, today, I want to express my gratitude to all those who have contributed to my well being, for “being there” when I needed them the most and for having made me felt loved every step of the way- especially when the chips were down and when the Sun didn’t shine too brightly. In the same flow I’m also grateful to all those who left me- especially during the storm and also those who were the cause of storms in my life. I’m glad that they left me when they did because they taught me invaluable and tough lessons about relationships. I could see very clearly who my friends were. Please bless these true friends O God in your own special way. ~Latika Teotia

AS LONG AS I LIVE !!!

What makes me come alive? What did I want to do with my life? What kind of a person did I want to be? These questions made me look back at my life experiences. I had two choices: to either sit and sulk, or take hold of myself and make my life worthy. I chose to stand firm. I chose ‘Me’, and that means taking full responsibility for my part in the co-creation of my life.The lines that touched me and continue touching my soul are these: “When you look back on the landscape of your life, you should feel proud of the footprints you have left behind.” Since then, there is no looking back.

As Long As I Live !!!

I am learning to be less vulnerable, more strong,
Trying my best not to be wrong.
I’m trying to accept beauty of this life,
Even though it is torn with strife.

I’m learning to smile through my tears,
Suppressing my hidden as well as visible fears.
I am learning to enjoy this process,
It doesn’t matter if it isn’t a success.

Instead of counting the cost,
I’m learning not to get lost
And not to forsake the colors
Of life, in the midst of storms and others.

I am learning to come out of the dark,
And touch the sky; fly like a lark.
I’m learning to hold on to my dreams,
And to overcome my inner screams.

I am learning to live well, give my best,
Do what is right and to God leave the rest.
Build bridges, let none fall.
And above all be a good friend to all.
~Latika Teotia

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