By age 13, I was absolutely sure of one thing- everyone older than me had life all sorted. College-goers? Oh, they definitely knew what they wanted and what their purpose was. Married people? Must be walking encyclopedias of emotional wisdom. And mothers? Don’t even get me started. I truly believed that anyone who could manage a child, run a home and handle a pressure cooker at the same time had to be operating with NASA-level intelligence.
But then I grew up. And turns out… it’s not quite like that.
By college, I was no clearer than a foggy windshield during monsoon season. I waited for enlightenment like one waits for a delayed train-standing at the station of life with a hopeful heart. Marriage came and brought its own syllabus of confusion. Motherhood??? Ohh yes. The time when you realize that even the child you gave birth to is now smarter than you, especially in settings, software and shortcuts.
Still, I waited. Because surely, once I hit 50, the Wisdom Fairy would descend, toss me a USB stick loaded with Life 101 and whisper, “Update complete.” Alas. I’m now 61. And guess what? Still clueless. Possibly even more clueless- just with added aches & pains.
I used to look up to my mother like she was born with a compass in her brain. Never missed a beat. She could fold a saree with her eyes closed, balance a budget without blinking, remember the entire grocery list without writing a word and serve the yummiest dishes without ever opening a cookbook. But maybe, just maybe, she was faking it, too. Maybe she also stood in front of the fridge some nights and whispered- “What on earth do they mean by ‘Eat before expiry’ when life itself comes with no such label?”
Now when I look at toddlers, I think- wow, they really know what they want. iPad, lollipop, which channel to watch, which cartoon series they’re hooked on and even which song is their absolute jam. No confusion there. And teenagers? Their fingers fly across screens like concert pianists on energy drinks. They speak fluent Techlish. They multitask while multitasking. They don’t even say “I don’t know” anymore. They say- “Let me Google that.”
I mean, look at the evidence. We have mosquitoes- but no real way to stop them from treating us like an open buffet.We send satellites to Mars, yet can’t find our own glasses (which are often on our head). Despite all these technological revolutions, we’re still clueless when it comes to everyday stuff- like how to fix a mood swing, how to stop tears that come out of nowhere, how to fall asleep when your brain suddenly decides it’s time to review every decision you’ve made since 1983. We’ve got smart TVs, smart fridges, smart phones… but no real clue how to switch off our overthinking.
Maybe, just maybe, The Creator is still experimenting. Still beta testing Earth. Perhaps the Big Bang was just a sneeze and the universe is still expanding because no one remembered to hit the stop button. Maybe heaven’s just a cosmic Helpdesk where even angels occasionally turn to one another and ask- “Wait… was free will part of the original plan or an accidental download?”
There’s some strange comfort in that thought.
If the Almighty is still in awe of His own inventions, still spinning galaxies like a child twirling a globe- just to see where the finger lands- then maybe I can forgive myself for not knowing how to properly use half the features on my phone or half the rules of life.
Because here’s the fun, dear reader:
Nobody has it figured out. They’re just better at nodding wisely while Googling quietly.
So cheers to lifelong confusion, to learning and unlearning, to being 60 and still wondering what you’ll be when you grow up. If God’s still wondering what to do with Jupiter’s 79 moons, I think we’re in fine company…~ Latika Teotia
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